anonymous post / anonymous posting enabled

[unearthingbone]

tell me something anonymously:

a secret,

something that troubles you,

something you've never told anyone else,

what you're afraid of,

something you want to say to someone but you struggle to (including me, if i make that list),

the thing or person that makes you feel most alive,

what breaks your heart,

the scariest thing you've ever done,

what makes you happy,

who you love,

and on and on.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I have a mental disorder I don't talk about because I'm ashamed of even though I try to embrace everyone for precisely who they are and never ask them to change.

I have this deep dark side that I embrace and feel there is nothing wrong with and others claim they understand but when I get into my sick and twisted mind set for setting up story scenes, the others that claim they understand are scared by what I can produce in my writing and just how vivid it can be... It troubles me that I'm so ok with this in a way.

Everything in my life I have told to at least one other person, so this is invalid I suppose.

I'm deathly afraid that all this work I'm putting towards my "Career" is crap. That the thing that will make me happiest in the world is something I've been capable of doing all along without all this school and tens of thousands of dollars of debt. I'm deathly afraid that I'm getting a chance at this dream career and that it will bring me more happiness then I have ever known in my entire life. The prospect of being so happy when I've dealt with nothing but depression and fucked up shit most of my life is one of the scariest things I've ever encountered. I'm also afraid my sex drive will never be normal, will never be properly up to par for a real relationship. That I will never get over the sexual abuse I suffered as a child in order to be able to be comfortable with my own body and my personal perceptions on sex for it ever to be enjoyable with another person. I'm also afraid that I will never be capable of feeling really vulnerable with someone else. I desire this vulnerability, I crave it more then words would ever describe but when it comes to actually doing it, I become paralyzed with fear.

I want to tell my Ex that I miss her in a romantic sense, even though I know things didn't work out, twice, and that they probably would continue not to work out since we're not looking for the same things in life. When we were happy we were really happy, when we were miserable, it literally made me sick. She was one of the sweetest, nicest, more caring people that have ever been in my life and I terribly miss sleeping in her arms or her in mine.

Music. I feel music in every inch and fiber of my being. It wraps around my soul and can change my mood in mere seconds.

The scariest thing I've ever done is what I'm doing right now. Making connections for my dreams.

All the little things in a day. A child's smile, a random person I don't even know laughing, being able to make someone smile or laugh... Bringing joy to others and watching them be happy is what makes my life complete. Being able to help ease others pain is what makes me happy.

I'm in love with a girl that only seems to live in my head so far. I hope to some day meet her in reality. I'll marry that girl if I ever do, even if I have to fly to Spain to do, good god I'll marry her for the rest of my life.