My friends make me happy, though I rarely get to see them. It says something when one night/ weekend can actually suffice for a month without seeing each other. Not for lack of missing one another, but abundance of stories, time to adore, laugh, write, create and become and grow. That's who I love- my friends that keep me alive. And I choose my friends for life, one of which I hope will be you.
I'm almost afraid of spiders and bats, but only if the bat lands on my head or spider lays eggs in my body. More than anything, I'm too morbid to actually be afraid of much. OH. I know what I'm afraid of:::
I'm afraid of disassociating. I'm afraid of running away from the best lover I've ever had (he's poly and trans and into bdsm and he READS... perfect!) because I can't stand to fight, to be open about my feelings or thoughts or perceptions. I'm afraid of complacency. I'm afraid of not being enough.
And sometimes, I'm afraid to talk to you. Not a fault at all, that's just... how it ends up sometimes.
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Date: 2009-08-21 01:27 am (UTC)I'm almost afraid of spiders and bats, but only if the bat lands on my head or spider lays eggs in my body. More than anything, I'm too morbid to actually be afraid of much. OH. I know what I'm afraid of:::
I'm afraid of disassociating. I'm afraid of running away from the best lover I've ever had (he's poly and trans and into bdsm and he READS... perfect!) because I can't stand to fight, to be open about my feelings or thoughts or perceptions. I'm afraid of complacency. I'm afraid of not being enough.
And sometimes, I'm afraid to talk to you. Not a fault at all, that's just... how it ends up sometimes.