man, this sounds really difficult, overwhelming, and scary, and i'm sorry that your doctor is struggling to figure out what's going on. i'm sorry that you are feeling -- it sounds like -- so pushed aside, too, by life circumstances like your friend's illness. also, there is no hierarchy of sickness, so your sickness is important, too, and i think there ought be room for you talk about your sickness because illness is not something that we ought bear alone unless we want to, and it doesn't sound like you want to. i hope your doctor is able to figure out what's going on and that you find a person who is able to support you as you deal with all of this.

p.s. if you want to talk further or ever want support with any of these things, anonymously or not, you can send me an e-mail at liam@riseup.net and i'd be happy to listen.